marvina

Thank you for your kind words and support.It was so hard to tell my mother.We are a large family 13 children.We have been very blessed that we had lost one sister when she was 3 days old.My mother is 90 and i dont think she ever thought she would out live another child.my husband drove me to her memorial in texas.Sadly i was the only sibling who made the trip.She was the most trusting and loving sister anyone could ask for.As alot of families with alot of children.There was alot of silly bickering.I can honestly say for me she was a wonderful big sister.We had an unconditional love.I could not have lived her life she was our gypsey.always moving she found joy in everyday.I need securitiy total opposites but she was happy. I will miss her terribly but i know she is with me always.It will take a while but i will make it.Her children are a blessing and we are helping each other.love you sis.Thanks to everyone for thinking of us. lots of love marvina

i will probably not be on for a while .losing my sister was very unexpected and i have to deal with my grief.thank you my friends for understanding.

okay my husband said my daughters boyfriend wanted to talk to him about something and would it be okay if he came over.My husband said okay.Then he passed this info on to me and said what do you think he wants.I said he wants to ask for our daughters hand in marriage.Husband laughed.Well thats exactly what he did he wants to propose on christmas day. Our oldest daughter married young also it turned out great but why do i have to keep giving my babies away.My husband told him he expects a long engagement.But i do have to commend the young man for having old fashioned values.I dont know what to think it broke my heart when her sister married at eighteen. help

yes i did.but not all of them.Her jeans were getting too small and she is hard to fit because her legs are so long.I really thought they might be a little big on her but no they fit perfect.Did it hurt ?Just for a minute it made her happy and now i have a walking talking model of my former self .It has actually inspired me to get back there.Nothing like having a 17 year old wearing your skinny clothes to make you want that back.

one of my sisters called this morning about getting together friday afternoon to go see our mother.i am the youngest of 12  most of us did not grow up together because of the age difference. i am already freaking out because i hate to go even though i love them.something is always said about my weight good or bad it always comes up.why do i still turn into that little kid again around them.i wish i could just not let it hurt my feelings as it has all my life. oh well just have to get thru this .

i am happy to say i am a little closer to where i want to be .i talked to my sister today she said when you are over weight you are invisble.never really thought about that .she said if she gains people dont notice her and when shes at her good weight she has to deal with more attention and cant fly under the radar.she thinks we self sabatage so we dont have to deal with relationships as much.she is single and i am not so i guess that would give you a different perspective.does any one have any ideas on this theory just curious.

today is halfway thru first week. havent weighed yet.dont want to be disappointed because i know i have been doing the right things but ah the scale cant always be trusted. i made a promise to do this and do it right this time.Having a good diet day. however i am also really not in christmas spirit lost my best friend of 28 years a couple of years ago.her birthday is dec 12. But thank goodness for kids and grandkids they make the holiday special once i start doing for them their little faces are priceless and the joy they bring.making ginger bread house with my granddaughter just cant lick my fingers. that might be hard. but she will love it.    marvina

only day 3 but i am already feeling resolve that i have found a home here.i am drinking more water thanks to one of my buddies and have a new strategy for waking up hungry in middle of the night thanks to two buddies.it was kind of funny i got the hiccups last night and absoulutely had to drink 2 huge glasses of water to get rid of them .and amazingly i slept all night no 1am hunger thanks everyone for your help and support

                                                                                                               marvina

i had a good diet day yesterday.hope to do great today reading blogs helps keep me inspired.i should probably just go look in my closet and see all the clothes i cant wear anymore.went shopping with my daughter 2 weeks ago to my favorite store and left sad .all the nice things i wanted just wouldnt look right on me now.i know my daughter could tell i didnt like myself at this size but she is so sweet she always says i look nice.she graduates this year and i want to go to her graduation and feel comfortable about how i look.i want my confidence back and stop hiding out so nobody sees me.

you all have inspired me with your support .i have had a great first day one day closer to the person i want to be.reading profiles help me know we can do this together. good luck to all and thanks

marvina